Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Winter? What's that?

As I was just woken up by the pouring rain, thunder, and lightning beating down like the four horseman of the Apocolypse outside my window, I decided to check what tomorrow's weather would be like. Congratulations, Austin, you get to look forward to winter weather: it's here, and it's ANGRY.

If you make it through the tornado watch in effect right now, you'll get to deal with the thunderstorms and freezing rain promised for tomorrow. Not to mention wind gusts of up to 25 mph. And a predicted wind chill in the low 20s. Super. Just super.

Labels: ,

Right on schedule

Last night I had my first finals-induced nightmare.

I dreamt that I totally bombed my Con Law exam. Remember that episode of Full House where DJ dreams that she bombed the SATs, but they were the weird bizarro SATs? Yeah. My dream was like that.

The first section of the exam was running an obstacle course while stating the amendments to the Bill of Rights. Then you had to do some weird pouring of water into cups thing. After you had completed these two, you could move on to the academic portions of the final. The first part of that was how Con Law related to astronomy. Or maybe it was astrology. I forget. Then there was a rather lengthy section in which you had to name bottles of wine based on blind tastings. Then you had to apply the gay rights cases to passages of the Old Testament. There were eight sections total, and all of them were about that random.

Also somwhat odd, the entire thing was held outdoors at my old summer camp.

I woke up to my alarm blaring at me. Time to go read more Con Law.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Black Sunday

So I am told that today is Black Sunday, the day in which everyone in law school breaks up with their significant others. The reasoning, theoretically, is that everyone had the past few days of non-law school madness to reconnect with their future-ex and inform them that a) they're no longer interested and/or b) they've been sleeping with someone else.

While that is all well and good, I think something must be wrong with my 1L class. Most people I know ended their relationships in September, not November and/or just started new relationships recently. I've also heard one 1L describe his plan for an "alternate hate-fucking relationship" aka where you hate law school so much, you find one other person who you hates law school as much as you, and you take out your anger through sex.

So to all of you breaking up today, just remember, as a lawyer, your TRUE soulmate can always be found in the bottom of a pitcher of beer. And a glass of scotch. And a shot of tequilla. Trust me.

Labels: , ,


I switched my blog over to the new Google Blogger platform, let me know if you see any glitches.

Labels: ,

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

These are our future clients

Scene: Starbucks on South Lamar

[Enter Lioness. She is annoyed, because she was just told by the people at the Jiffy Lube next door that it will probably be an hour before they can change her oil. She is holding her large purple Emanuel's for Torts. On the front, it prominently says "LAW OUTLINE"]

Lioness: Venti Green Iced Tea, please?
Barista: Sure. Wow, that's a big recipe book!
Lioness: Huh?
Barista: Your book, you must really like torts! Are you looking for a recipe for Thanksgiving?
Lioness: Oh, um, this isn't a recipe book. This is about legal torts, like personal injury and medical malpractice and stuff like that...
Barista: [clearly confused] Hmm. I didn't realize bakeries had that many legal problems.

I shit you not, people.


Monday, November 20, 2006

A Rivalry for the Ages

As UT revs up for its annual rivalry game against A&M, I will remind all of you Longhorns that the greatest rivalry is not UT/A&M. It is not UT/OU. It is not Florida/Florida State. It is not even Michigan/Ohio State.

The greatest rivalry in college football is, and always has been, USC/Notre Dame. Read this very well written article (written by a Notre Dame fan, no less) to find out why. I am looking forward to a great game on Saturday!

Labels: ,

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Nap time

I think what the law school needs is a room; a dark room, with 20 cots in it, and 20 pillows, for law students that just want to take a nap sometime during the day, a la hospitals or fire stations. I've seen the people who've fallen asleep on their books in library carrels, and it always appears that when they awake, they are going to be horrified to realize they've drooled through about half of their casebook, and will have weird impression lines on their face for the rest of the day from where their head was pressed into their laptop.

But everytime I suggest this to a fellow classmate, the reaction is the same:

"Yeah! That's a great idea! Oh wait. No. People would have too much sex in there. It would be gross. Nevermind. That's a horrible idea."

So, to you people who awake from library naps with muscle aches in your necks from the weird angle you slept at, to you people who had camera phone pictures taken of you passed out among the stacks, to you people who honestly just could have used a little nap room--you only have your own horny classmates to blame.

Labels: ,

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Top five things not to say while hitting on a female law student

Last night, against my better judgment as I am still fighting a cold, I allowed myself to be dragged downtown for a few hours to see a friend's band play. Throughout the night my friend and I got hit on by a few different sets of gentleman at the bar. And, as happens roughly 70% of the time, when the flirting/conversation reached the inevitable "so what do you do" point in the conversation, and I answered "I go to law school," I would get the look of total horror, generally followed by one of the following lines: (All of these have actually been said to me, btw)

1. Oh, so are you going to sue me for talking to you?
2. Law school? So I got this [parking ticket, dui, assault charge] last week....
3. Cool! You could be my sugar mama!
4. My [parent, sibling, roommate, goldfish] is an attorney. [He/she/it] hates it. Why would you ever go to law school?

And my personal favorite:
5. That's too bad. Drunk guys hate smart chicks.

Labels: , ,

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Stick with it!

A quote from tonight's Gilmore Girls:

Rory: (After having a mild breakdown about not knowing what to do with her life after graduation) Maybe I should be applying to grad schools? Journalism school or maybe law school?
Friend: You don't want to go to law school.
Rory: I totally don't want to go to law school.

Stick with your gut, Rory. You don't. Really.

(Warning: stop reading if you are planning on watching this later on your tivo... on a note completely unrelated to law school, can I just be a total girl for a minute and gush over the fact that Lorelai and Christopher got married in Paris! Soooo romantic! Ok. Uncontrollable girly moment over. Back to your regularly scheduled Lioness.)


A post as disorganized as my Con Law notes...

-I'm sure most of you who read my blog also read Ruth's, but if not, this is fantastic. I recommend singing it, instead of just reading. Over and over again. In the library. Really loud.

-I continue to be amused by something a fellow 1L said after hearing about 3 seperate recent events in my personal life. I believe the quote was "[Lioness], your decision-making has sucked lately. Maybe you should take up the George Costanza approach: whatever or whoever you think you want to do, do the exact opposite." I think he's right.

-And speaking of George's, is it just me, or has the food at George's Cafe actually gotten WORSE since it opened?

-Last night, I fell asleep while reading property. I woke up this morning with a bruise in my back from where my highlighter lodged itself during that equitable-servitude induced coma, and it's making me rethink my love for the Sharpie highlighters.

-Lastly, I think it just plain cruel for UT to send out a notice before finals are over telling us that our spring tuition bill has posted. Really? I'm basically bludgeoning myself daily over the next month in preparation for finals, and you have to remind me that I am actually going into debt for this torture? And that as soon as the torture stops, I just have to start it up again? Whoever sent that e-mail clearly has no soul.

Labels: , ,

Friday, November 10, 2006

Lessons Learned in 1L, volume 2

Sharpie highlighters are clearly superior to every other brand of highlighters. That is all.

Labels: ,

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Earl Warren's ghost just tried to kill me

So I'm sitting in my bedroom, with my cat in my lap, reading Con-Law, specifically about the Warren Court.

All of a sudden my sliding closet door swings out, then back, and all the hangers start moving. As my cat dashes into a hiding spot, I assume that some animal must have gotten in somehow and so I go to check it out, by standing on my nightstand and peering into my closet.

Now, the way I was standing on the nightstand it was foreseeable that it might have fallen over in the way I was leaning. Instead, it falls in a completely opposite direction than the law of physics should have allowed it to fall and I fell against the wall, hurting my wrist and scratching my back pretty badly in the process.

I have investigated every single inch of my closet. There was no animal. Something else did this. I am forced to accept the notion that, apparently, Earl Warren wants me dead. Trust me Earl, the feeling is mutual--and I mean all the way dead too.

Labels: ,

Monday, November 06, 2006

I used to have a life. Really.

Oh little blog, has it really been nearly a week since I posted in you?

Yeah. Well....that's too bad.

I'll admit it, I'm a pretty arrogant person. So when I heard law students that came before me say "just wait till November, you'll get slammed with work," I usually thought that they were just poor planners. I was wrong. Very wrong.

With daily reading for con law soaring ever higher each week, the need for outlining and flashcarding and memorizing becoming very apparent, study group meetings that span 6-hours on the weekends, the first LR&W project that actually requires much effort due in about two weeks, the rewrite of the Torts paper looming whenever the prof decides to hand back our drafts, and now the need to research fims for the summer and get resumes and cover letters ready to go out on December 1st....I can plainly see that I was just dead wrong.

So, this is the effective announcement that now through finals, don't expect blogger brilliance from me. It's not that I don't love you all, my readers. It's just that, with whatever few spare moments I have, I love drinking more.

Labels: ,

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

IKEA Rocks

The e-mail I just got made writing this entire blog entirely worth it:

"Dear Lioness,

We have noticed your blog and although you probably do not consider yourself as traditional media, I would like to invite you to the IKEA Press Preview Day next week in the event you may wish to view IKEA Round Rock before the public. Perhaps this may be of interest to your readers?

IKEA is coming to Central Texas!
Please join us at [time]...for the IKEA Round Rock Press Preview on [date] ([#] days before our grand opening to the public on November 15)! This official ‘sneak peek’ at Central Texas’ own 252,000 square-foot IKEA store includes personalized tours to see our 50 room settings, 3 model homes, 256-seat restaurant, Swedish Foodmarket, supervised children’s play area and more! Interview opportunities will also be available.
Experience the uniqueness of IKEA, touch products, ask questions, and snack on Swedish specialties.

I look forward to hearing from you"

Now, people, I used to work in Public Relations before I came to law school. I can totally relate to wanting to get coverage for your event. So for stroking my ego, IKEA, you totally get a mention on the blog. I own several lovely items from this fine Swedish establishment. Everyone: go shop at IKEA.