Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Parking in SJC, 101

The San Jac garage, the place where the majority of us law students who are too environmentally unconscious to ride a shuttle like to park, seems to have gotten a little ridiculous this semester. Indeed, at least once a week now it appears that someone, perhaps confused with basic parking garage ettiquette, turns the lanes into, well, for lack of a better word, a parking lot. So with that in mind, I offer the following advice:

1. If you are getting to the parking garage after about 8:30, there isn't going to be anything available until the 4th floor. Just deal with it. Going slowly on all the levels up to 4 desparately searching for a closer spot just makes the entire line backup.

2. That middle ramp? It goes down. Always down. No matter what level you are on, that ramp only goes down. Someone in front of me starts to try to go up it at least once a week, then realizing that it's down only, has to reverse and get back on the right path.

3. If you are driving a gigantic, extended cab, mud-flap dressed, uber-truck, perhaps consider just going up another flight to get to easier parking, instead of blocking the entire lane to do a 16-point turn to get into the tiniest space in the garage. If you drive a really small car but just have frequent problems parking it without backing out again to "straighten up," this applies to you as well.

So there ya go. Just three simple suggestions that should make all of our lives easier. In the immortal words of Jerry Springer, "take care of yourselves, and each other."


Sunday, February 25, 2007


I have to admit, prom was a blast. Three cheers to the SBA for putting on a great event. Everyone feel free to post your favorite prom moments in the comments.


Saturday, February 24, 2007

A prom confession

When one thinks of high school prom, one thinks of spiked punch, corsages, slow dancing, hotel rooms, and getting lucky, right? Well I have a confession: if those things are definitive of prom, tonight's Casino Night will be my first real prom. Why? Well, for starters because I went to boarding school for performing arts. Let's take a stroll down memory lane:

Prom #1- Sophomore year.
Hot hometown football player invited me to go to prom at the high school I would have gone to, had I not gone to boarding school instead. I was thoroughly excited. He picked me (and two other couples) up in his old beat up pick-up truck, then proceeded to drive everyone to a very fancy establishment for our pre-prom dinner. Oh yes, we dined at none other than T.G.I.Fridays. We got to the prom (which was held in the same location they do livestock auctions and rodeos in our hometown), took pictures, and then sat at a table with a bunch of other football players and their dates. They had all decided beforehand that dancing was stupid and they weren't going to participate. After 20 minutes, our dates decided they had suffered all the prom they could handle and we left to go to a post-party. The post party was broken up by the cops within the hour. So we tried another party. Also busted shortly thereafter. Since the guys couldn't figure out where to go, I got out my cell phone and called my dad. I explained that everyone in this town was moronic, and could everyone come to our place? Of course they could. So, my dad became the "coolest dad ever", broke out his grill at 11:30 at night, made burgers and virgin margaritas for half the football team and their dates while everyone crammed into our living room to watch Carrie, Office Space, and Monty Python. What crazy debauchery, I know.

Prom #2-Junior year.
My boarding school didn't have prom, we had morp (prom spelled backwards. This was done as a statement to how anti-mainstream we were.) We all boarded a bright yellow schoolbus in our fancy attire, and were taken to the hotel where the prom was being held. We ate dinner there, and it was good, though I distinctly remember someone spilling bright pink punch all over me. Not that it mattered, because after dinner, everyone changed into the jeans they had brought with them to begin dancing. At this point, my on-again-off-again boyfriend and I decided to have an argument that lasted the entire rest of the evening. At midnight, we re-boarded the bright yellow schoolbuses and had finally made up. Which was great, cause that meant we got to go back to our dorms. Alone. Uber-fun.

Prom #3-Senior year.
As co-chair of the Morp committee, I got to spend the entire day planning our masquerade morp. Being a senior and on the committee kind of had its advantages, because at least I didn't have to ride there in a school bus. However, I also remember that we had chosen to do beta fish in vase centerpieces, and the first part of my senior morp was consumed by dealing with dead fish. Anyways, my date that year was my gay best friend Thomas, who was lots of fun until he discovered that "hot dance major Lawrence" thought he was cute and they spent the rest of the evening grinding on the dance floor together. At midnight, we all boarded the school buses to be taken to a bowling alley, and we proceeded to go bowling in our formal wear until 2am, then reboarded the buses and were taken back to the dorms. "Lights out" was at 3, after all.

Never was there alcohol. Never was there dancing. Never was there a crazy post-prom party in a hotel room. So, tonight, tonight! I hope to do it right. I plan to participate in every ridiculous high school cliche I can tonight. Consider yourselves warned.


Thursday, February 22, 2007

A New Breed of Gunner

When I first posted about gunners in the 1L class last semester, I got a lot of responses of people telling me not to worry because they would likely a) figure out they were annoying everyone and shut up or b) drop out/transfer. And to some extent that's true. Word on the streets is that our biggest gunner is indeed trying to transfer, and the other major 1st semester gunners chilled out a bit as the semester went on.

But, now, a month into second semester, a new breed of gunners has sprung up. And just like antibiotic-resistant bacteria, I think these suckers are gonna be harder to get rid of than the original batch.

You know the type. They may have piped up occasionally first semester, but for the most part, they kept a low profile. But now, perhaps emboldened by an A on an exam or a cushy summer job offer, they've decided it's their god-given right to blather on, incessantly, about whatever they like, every single class period. This breed is more agressive than the original gunners as well, frequently dispensing the need to raise their hands or be recognized by the professor.

But perhaps the most puzzling part about the nouveau gunner is that they have no idea that they've become a gunner at all. They made fun of the gunners last semester, and they still sigh and roll their eyes when the old gunners speak. It appears that they have become blinded to their own gunnerish ways. So, as a PSA to all my readers, I offer these helpful tips to determine if you have become a gunner:

1. Have you volunteered in class more than once today? (If yes, +1)
2. Have you done so in more than one class? (+1 for each additional class)
3. Have you spoken without being called on? (+1 for each outburst)
4. When you raise your hand, does anyone groan audibly (+5)
5. Does the professor notably try to call on every single other volunteer before calling on you? (+3)
6. Have you brought up game theory, religion, or philosophy in class to "add" to the discussion? (+10)

More than three points, and chances are you've become a gunner. But don't worry, it's easy to fix: just shut up. It's that simple.


Wednesday, February 21, 2007

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery,

then all the other UT blawgers and myself should theoretically be flattered by this new site that UT is using on their main web page:


Too bad I'm more appalled than flattered.

It looks as though the University has hand picked a bunch of its "choice" undergrads, (while maintaining gender, race, age, and major diversity, of course), set them up with cookie-cutter University-sponsored blogs, and let them write PC, University-approved impressions of campus life in hopes of drawing in prospective students. That's some accurate journalism for ya.

I find this really dissapointing, mainly because I *did* read student blogs (and not the University-approved version) when deciding on one law school over another. While it certainly wasn't my main consideration, reading the students from Chicago Law (where the blawgs all sounded angry, terror-stricken, sadistic, or any comination therein) compared to Texas (I think everyone here is pretty familiar with Wings and Vodka and Ruth) , made me much more comfortable with the decision I had made.

Basically, if UT wants to show prospective students, or anyone else for that matter, what being a student is really like, there are undoubtedly a handful of solid student bloggers in undergrad just as there are in law school. But sponsoring puppets to write University-approved glossy images of student life is just pathetic.


Monday, February 19, 2007

An honor to be nominated...

Apparently I've been nominated in Ruth's Joe Jamail Awards in Legal Education in the category of "Outstanding Achievement in Commentary."

So, thanks to whoever nominated me. I feel all loved and stuff. ;-)

Others, however, were not feeling so loved. Certain 1Ls nominated in other categories were unpleasantly surprised to discover their true reps, and a general wave of IM debates flew through Crim. Non-nominees responded by writing long, drawn out votes for their favorite candidates, which they made their friends proofread and give commentary on before posting. It was all very amusing. Seeing as how the ratings for the Oscars go down every year, I think this is the new awards ceremony to watch.


Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Happy Valentines Day! (Now don't kill each other)

Ahh, Valentine's Day. That special time of year when law students (along with the rest of the country) put to shame the Beatles' notion that money can't buy you love...because it can buy you dinner, flowers, jewlery, and stuffed animals.

But, being the cynic that I am when it comes to this holiday, I can't help but laugh at the many pitfalls that have already surrounded many a couple:

-In contracts, a giant balloon delivery from one student to another had the class (and professor) amused. When the balloons wouldn't stop playing "Everlasting Love" the professor's amusement waned considerably.

-The DVSSN crush sale has apparently delivered some crushes to people in committed relationships...much to their significant other's displeasure.

-One girl in the atrium took no notice of the volume of her voice when describing her lingerie plans for the evening to a friend. If I heard it, I'm sure a few professors did too.

-A non-law friend called to tell me about her boyfriend's attempt to make her breakfast in bed. Instead, he started a fire in their kitchen and managed to give them both food poisoning. They'll be spending their day taking alternating turns praying to the porcelain godthrone. How romantic.

As for me, I think a nice bottle of red wine at home is more than satisfactory. But to those of you with plans of grandeur, just remember, as evidenced by the above, Murphy's Law works in overdrive on February 14th.


Thursday, February 08, 2007

Note to Self:

In a class that is a year long, such as Legal Research and Coloring, telling the professor how you actually feel about the class will result in her opening the class with this statement:

Prof: "Yesterday, I read through the course evalutations from last semester. I haven't decided whether to go back to practicing law or hang myself."



Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Fresh pig's blood, anyone

As the 1Ls start to rumble about law school prom (which, hey SBA, it'd be great if you'd actually announe that since it's less than 3 weeks away!) the inherent ridiculousness of the whole thing is finally sinking in. I've heard of people ordering corsages. I've heard of people booking hotel rooms. I've heard of 80s thrift store dresses so fabulous they would make Cyndi Lauper proud. And I think it's all hilariously wonderful.

But how do you explain law prom to non-law school students? At first, I thought it would be a hard feat to make the entire thing sound enticing to a guy:

"So, um, do you wanna go to law school prom with me? We can hang out all night with a bunch of up-tight, type A personalities who will invariably have way too much to drink, cause a bunch of drama, and look really silly while doing it. You'll have to dress up, and btw, there's going to be dancing involved."

and then I realized the magic words that I was forgetting..."there's an open bar."


Monday, February 05, 2007

Happiness is...

...getting a summer job offer! Yay!

...anything not involving the stupid LR&W oral report, which I will hopefully be done with by the end of the day

...a really beautiful day outside

...celebrating all three at the bar later!

Labels: , ,

Friday, February 02, 2007

The good, the bad, and the ugly

The do-gooders of UT Law had the public service career day today, and I couldn't help but notice the conflict of the students who are ok with less cash and informal workplaces in exchange for being honorable humans walking around in spiffy, expensive-looking suits, while the big-law, high salary obsessive were so hungover from bar review that they tended to resemble drag rats.

Ah, law school.