An Open Letter to all 1L flag football teamsDear players,
While I don't intend to discredit your attempt at "total flag football domination," my experience last night seems to indicate many of you are unaware of how to play the game in a way that doesn't make everyone you play hate you. Here are some tips:
1. Hey guys, if you are rushing the quarterback, and the quarterback either is a girl herself, or her blockers are girls, you really shouldn't attempt to "take us out." Specifically, to the charming individual that felt it necessary to punch me in the kidney last night, that's what normal people like to call "acting like a douchebag." I'd recommend not doing that.
2. Regarding your flags: While it is difficult to watch the placement of your flags at all times, I would recommend at least trying to keep the flags somewhere other than directly over your crotch. I grabbed a lot more than just a flag last night, and I don't think that was pleasant for anyone.
3. Ladies: let's make a compromise. I will avoid injuring your chest so long as you avoid injuring my chest.
I think following these simple tips will make flag football more pleasant for all of us. Just remember, that if you come up against Douchebag McAsshole, also known as the guy who punched me in the side, all these rules are null and void.
Lots of love,