Wednesday, September 27, 2006

An Open Letter to all 1L flag football teams

Dear players,

While I don't intend to discredit your attempt at "total flag football domination," my experience last night seems to indicate many of you are unaware of how to play the game in a way that doesn't make everyone you play hate you. Here are some tips:

1. Hey guys, if you are rushing the quarterback, and the quarterback either is a girl herself, or her blockers are girls, you really shouldn't attempt to "take us out." Specifically, to the charming individual that felt it necessary to punch me in the kidney last night, that's what normal people like to call "acting like a douchebag." I'd recommend not doing that.

2. Regarding your flags: While it is difficult to watch the placement of your flags at all times, I would recommend at least trying to keep the flags somewhere other than directly over your crotch. I grabbed a lot more than just a flag last night, and I don't think that was pleasant for anyone.

3. Ladies: let's make a compromise. I will avoid injuring your chest so long as you avoid injuring my chest.

I think following these simple tips will make flag football more pleasant for all of us. Just remember, that if you come up against Douchebag McAsshole, also known as the guy who punched me in the side, all these rules are null and void.

Lots of love,
Lioness

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3 Comments:

At 1:49 PM, September 27, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard that there was almost a fight last year when one guy broke his collar bone and another guy started laughing at him. I wasn't there, though, so I don't know if that really happened.

Either way, it sounds like you're all well on your way to taking flag football to new heights this year.

 
At 4:10 PM, September 27, 2006, Blogger T said...

Was the laughing considered harmful or offensive? Because there's a tort for that.

 
At 9:41 PM, September 27, 2006, Anonymous juddge said...

I can verify the story about the laugher-at-the-collarbone-breaker. That guy is still pretty much despised in our class to this day.

SO DON'T BE THAT GUY.

And don't injure girls' chests, that's just not nice ;)

 

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