Friday, August 18, 2006

Snakes on a Plane and the Law

Tonight, like any other warm-blooded American should have, I went out to see Snakes on a Plane. Of course, I happened to see it at the Alamo Drafthouse, which means I didn't just see the movie. I also was entertained by redneck snakehandlers before the show.

Because my friends and I only got there thirty minutes prior to showtime, we were forced to sit in the neck-constricting front row. This also meant we were less than five feet from the snake demonstration. So while the rest of the audience could observe Gomer and Goober's show from a distance, I actually had to deal with the motherfucking snakes in the motherfucking theater. (He had five different snakes, all of which could kill a person.)

And that's when I realized how the law has already infected my brain. My only consoling thought through the whole "snakehandling demonstration" was how many parties I could sue and for how much, should one of those snakes bite me. What the difference would be if I was killed or just injured. Whether I could make the city of Austin or state of Texas a party. This line of thought continued throughout the movie.

I hear my torts professor is a very comical guy. If he ever creates a Snakes on the Plane hypo, I will become his disciple. No really.



At 10:49 PM, August 21, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Snakes On A Plane and ME?

- The Law

At 12:21 AM, August 22, 2006, Blogger The Lioness said...

Not quite. See, my title was "the Law"...a reference to you would have been double capitalized, as in "The Law" and/or "Balls". Glad we cleared that up.

At 9:29 AM, August 25, 2006, Blogger T said...

I'm already thinking like that as well. So far, I think you could sue the snakehandlers, and the theater, definitely. Probably the city of Austin, because they are charged with animal control, and if the snakehandling event was advertised, they had a reasonable duty to either oversee or stop the event altogether. Either way, I think you could reasonably argue some sort of negligience there.

Of course, I could be wrong, I'm not a lawyer.


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