Sue the Pants Off HimNon-law school friend: So when do you get to start suing people?
Lioness: After I pass the bar exam.
Friend: That would be so awesome to just be able to sue anyone anytime you wanted to. I'd sue everyone who pissed me off. Like ex-boyfriends and stuff.
Lioness: What would you sue them for?
Friend: Money, of course.
Lioness: Yep. Now you're thinking like a lawyer.
Friend: There must be something you can sue an ex-boyfriend for, just for being annoying. I dunno, you're the law student, you think of something.
Lioness: Wellll....I suppose you could attempt to prove that he negligently caused you injury to consortium.
Friend: Oh, that sounds fancy! What does it mean?
Lioness: It means you're not getting laid anymore, and it's his fault.
Lioness: What, don't like it?
Friend: Well. Maybe I shouldn't sue him. Wouldn't want to give him the impression I in any way enjoyed his miserable attempts at sexual prowess.
Lioness: That bad, eh?
Friend: Oh yeah. I'd rather sleep with one of those dead guys in your Con Law book.
Lioness: Like who? John Marshall?
Friend: Yes. I'd rather sleep with John Marshall. Sexy, sexy, John Marshall.